travel exhausts me.

okay... vancouver is lovely..... and it's nice to get out of calgary for a while... and bauhaus kicked a severe shit tit around... and i'm making over use of the ellipses.... but at this point in time i really just miss Liona LaGore, and my piano, and the zombie drenched walls of my garish apartment.

of course within minutes of getting home Liona will probably scratch me, the leak in my roof will begin to drip again, i'll remember how i have no job and no money (not to mention few marketable skills(ha!)) and i'll start stressing out again.... but at this point home is a welcoming prospect.

(holy drama.. yeesh)

anyways allow me to muse about my trip a little.

The bauhaus concert!

soo good, peter murphy is still fucking gorgeous! a sleazy john waters mustache and goatee and a rotund belly, bleached hair tussled around a noticeable bald spot... mmmmm. i really couldn't help but cream my pants for the entirety of the concert. well that is except for when this asshole in the first row turned around and decided that because i wasn't comfortable with him touching me that i should be punched in the face.

now i naturally would of punched back... but i have been in enough classroom fights to know how this kind of thing turns out. plus as an abused child/gay bash victim i have incredible dissociative capabilities. It took me a while to even realize that he was in fact hitting me. i opted to go fetch security.

okay that fucked me up a little bit.

the next night i got stoned with prinn and tina and jamie and played crazy eight countdown, which was really fun.
playing card games with all sleazy prairie folk can be dangerous however.

saturday i got really drunk and went to the cambie and then the duffer inn. let me tell you. i sometimes have problems not being the obviously cheapest looking person in the room... here i stood no chance. but i felt at peace with that. and with myself. for once, if only for an hour or so... hahaha.

then this over excited twinky fag who i think was on ecstasy tried to pick me up. ugggh. then this dyke grabs me and says "tella me a dahlink, are youeh a pussy licka, orrr a cocka suckarrr?"

"ho hum... cock sucker?... er uh cocka suckarrr..." says i.

"then you'llll lov mi brothar" she then shoved my face into her brothers and said. "well have at er" .

it was time to leave.

so i went to celebrities.... barf.. it was like twisted... but with cover. thankfully i ran into some calgary queers who dragged me to lick, and then all around downtown vancouver looking for one of their cars. which ended up being in the impound lot. haha.

i crashed at this straight boys house who smoked me up, and strangely enough, as i fell asleep feeling completely at peace. damn i love pot.

i slept all day on tina's birthday.. and mostly on her living room floor. I then slept all night until like noon the next day. err to-day. within an hour of waking i had lost a full pack a smokes, swallowed one of the barbells in my cheecks, and left the house 4 times only to realize i had forgot something else... i spent the better part of the evening watching television with aaron and then made my way over to kryssa's. hahahahahahahaha. okay i shouldn't say that.... really.

anyways.....

I'm reeeaaaallly itching to get back to my piany. i don't think i've been away from her this long since i got her. it makes me a big tense ball when she's not around.

I would say that i am rather delicate these days... (for example on the plane ride here i started weeping because a vet show on discovery channel showed a sick puppy convulsing) but in the immortal words of me, speaking to beric:

"Just because you fall apart so easy don't make you delicate!"

anyways this has been an all too lengthy and probably too personal post.

kiss kiss bang bang

jo